Blogger Spotlight: John Adams, Dadbloguk.com

Moving up to first place is John Adams, the father behind Dad Blog UK, which he launched after deciding to leave his career in communications to become a stay at home dad in 2011. Winner of the Best UK Dad Blog at the Vuelio Blog Awards 2016, John continues to blog and vlog, providing readers with humorous accounts of his experiences with household management and childcare. In this spotlight, John Adams, who is number one on our daddy blog ranking chats to us about using his blog as a platform to talk about gender inequalities, fighting against sexism, increasing his presence on YouTube, and how his blog offers emotional support to other dads.

Tell us about your blog? Dadbloguk is a parenting and lifestyle blog. I have a particular interest in fatherhood. I write about all aspects of parenting: schooling, education, days out. I’ve just today published something about mum and dad guilt.

I also write about equalities issues and do product reviews as well as write about days out, motoring, home improvement and so on. Over the past year I’ve also put a lot of effort into improving my presence on YouTube.

These days I also work much more collaboratively. The Internet presents opportunities for you to do that. Not only am I producing much more collaborative YouTube content, but I work with a group of four other dad bloggers under the name of Digidads to seek out work opportunities and promote each other’s content. It’s an approach that works well for us and our clients.

What prompted you to document your life as a father in a blog? Long story! In 2011 my wife and I made the very practical decision that I would leave the workforce to look after our two daughters and run the household while Gill would continue to work full time. I very quickly found myself facing lots of lazy, latent sexism. People just don’t expect a man to fulfil this role and so I started Dadbloguk to highlight the issues I had.

Obviously, over time my kids have developed and grown up. Helen is now eight and Izzy four years of age. I’ve diversified my blogging activities as they have grown. My blog has grown up but promoting positive fatherhood remains at the core of what I do. It’s something I am passionate about promoting and that won’t change.

How do you help your readers in their journey as a parent? I often receive comments and emails from people telling me they have found my blog posts useful. It can be very practical. One of my car seat reviews, for instance, has proven to be incredibly popular and people have watched the video I made and read the blog post to learn how to install it!

My blog can be a form of emotional support. Sometimes people read my words and respond, telling me they understand how I feel or that my words have helped them understand a particular situation.

Sometimes people leave me comments disagreeing with what I’ve said. I am equally happy with this. I started my blog to challenge people and if someone reads my blog and has their perceptions or ideas challenged then I am very happy!

What is a typical day in the life of you as a dad? My ‘dad day’ starts at 7am when I get the kids up and give them breakfast, help them get dressed etc. it’s then off on the school run with my eldest daughter, Helen. Her little sister attends pre-school three mornings a week and on those mornings, when I am on my own, it’s all about the blog. I’m supposed to concentrate on housework, but it simply doesn’t happen!

In the afternoons Izzy and I spend time together. This is very precious as she starts school in September so those early years are about to come to an end.

From 3.30pm until 8pm we enter a crazy whirl of activity: school run, after school clubs some nights, homework, dinner, bath, bed. That part of the day is relentless!

How do you manage your blogging career and being a father?  The truthful answer to that question: I get up at 5am seven days a week. I also ignore as much housework as possible.

How has fatherhood changed you? What did you learn about yourself after becoming a parent? I think fatherhood makes you more tolerant. You have to tolerate tantrums, going to awful soft-play centres and so on. It’s just a part of being a parent, be you a mum or a dad. You also become accustomed to dealing with all sorts of bodily fluids.

Fatherhood brings out your nurturing side. There’s a perception men aren’t naturally caring and nurturing. I disagree with this stereotype wholeheartedly.

How do you like to work with PRs? And how can they improve their blogger outreach? I deal with PRs all the time. I used to work in PR so they should never be shy of approaching me. In terms of improving blogger outreach, when dealing with mum and dad bloggers, it is no use inviting us to events two days beforehand. I still see a lot of this going on. We need a week or two’s notice to get childcare in place etc.

Also, if attendance at an event is required, payment should really be a part of the deal. Bloggers are small business people so time away from the desk is time spent not working. Many agencies and in-house teams understand this, but others still don’t quite get it.

What are the main challenges that fathers face? I think one of the biggest fatherhood/men’s rights issues of this era is the poor level of paid paternity leave. It stops men from spending time at home with the partner and baby after a child’s birth and this is bad news for dad, mum and child.

As a dad, being accepted as a capable parent can also be a challenge. It’s a shame because this stops men from being active fathers and this, in turn, stops mums from going out into the workplace as dad is simply expected to fulfil the role of breadwinner.

What advice would you give to a new dad or dad-to-be? In the early days, you will almost certainly face people who tell you childcare is women’s work. It is not, so do not tolerate this. You should be an integral part of the family unit, not simply a support system for mum. Also, you are going to make mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes as a parent. Dust yourself and carry on. I’m a firm believe that parenting ls learned and not instinctual. Don’t expect to know what you are doing from day one as nobody does.

What’s your secret tool; what is it that helps you to cope when the going gets tough?  Going for a walk. That, and a cup of green tea!